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Dear Mom, I've Always Wanted You to Know: Daughters Share Letters from the Heart(TM)

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It goes without saying that the relationship between mothers and daughters is a complex one. Not only that, but it changes over time, so that neither mothers or daughters are ever quite the same from year to year, or even month to month. The result is an unpredictable relationship that is often difficult, but also rewarding. Lisa Delman's anthology began when she wrote her own letters to her mother. But it has moved from the personal to the many, and in doing so this book of letters touches on the universal. There are so many good letters in this volume, and they run the scale of emotions. I was particular impressed by the work of Judy Brand, who writes so movingly about making a momentous decision to save her mother's life following an aneurysm. I was also touched by Cynthia Jean Heidercker's story about being deaf, and how her mother labored to make life easier for her. These letters are all from the heart, some hurt and others made healthy again, by the primary relationships in their lives. The book offers life lessons for us all.

Lisa Delman's book comfortably invites us to explore our own mother/daughter relationships and turn a curious ear to women's deepest emotions through their letters.

Inspired to write her mother a letter after her mom's near-fatal heart attack, Lisa asked herself, "How will writing letters make my mother and I better together?" The advice she got from her coach was: "Concentrate first on releasing your words. Then, when you read them, this will cause a healing." Indeed, it did. And as Lisa told friends about her experience of catharsis, she learned that many also had "unfinished business" with their mothers. So she created the Letters From The Heart Project and, through a website-based appeal, received more than 1,000 poignant letters from women around the world. For many, it initiated a heartfelt journey that led to deep healing.

The subjects of the letters chosen moved through sorrow and shame to anger and guilt and on to wholeness and forgiveness. In the process, they evoke profound yet different emotions for every reader-providing mirrors that can't be ignored.

For me, the essence of this book lies in Lisa's statement in the Introduction: "As we learn to embrace our shadows as part of our light through letter writing, we can move in and out of our emotions more gracefully. Like an exquisite tapestry, we can see how the threads of our negative and positive emotions play a vital role in awakening the best part of ourselves."

Reading these letters gives us permission to explore our innermost feelings without judgment-and what a gift that is!

Sherry Sterling

Lisa did a brilliant job of creating the concept and then weaving the selected letters into a masterpiece of human emotion. I was able to look inside of so many incredibly expressive women's worlds to be captivated by their heartfelt feelings of gratitude, sorrow, shame, anger, guilt, abandonment, forgiveness, grief, love and in so many situations there was resolution, peace and wholeness. I found it refreshing to be able to leave my fast paced hectic day and slip away for some precious time to experience the journey of Dear Mom, I've Always Wanted You to Know as the Letters from the Heart truly touched my heart. As a daughter of a wonderful mother that is finer than a priceless gem and as a mother of two teenage daughters, I laughed, cried and wanted more when I reached the end. Life can take people in so many directions and the process of finding your home can sometimes be a letter away. I highly recommend this book!!!

When I read about Lisa and her mom, my heart opened up and I immediately wrote a letter to my mom and grandma. Lisa's style of writing is uncomplicated and direct. I have always enjoyed writing letters to people I love. Writing to my mom instead of "about" mom, has allowed me to stay in touch as we both age gracefully. Reading this book showed me how my own experiences have been at the same time both personal and commonplace. I highly recommend "Dear Mom, " to others who are serious about appreciating mom, motherhood or the profound expressions of a child to a parent.

There are a lot of unsaid words and feelings bottled inside most of us. With my mother now in her eighties, I need to learn to let these out and to share them with her.
Discovering this book may help me break through the silence. I hope so.
Here's the author's words from the Letters From The Heart website: "I hope you take the women's insights in the book, Dear Mom, as a guide to explore your own relationship with your mother, and most important, with yourself.
May you make it a priority to tend to unresolved matters and discover the purpose of compassion, peace, and love throughout your life."
Wouldn't it be wonderful if all daughters could take this inspiration and achieve an improved relationship?

This book is an amazing look at daghters relationships with their moms. The letters go beyond all cultural barriers to connect the hearts of women everywhere. If you are a women...then you are a daughter. Read this book and be inspired by the heartfelt letters of women from around the globe.

It is with heartfelt thanks that I review "Dear Mom, I've Always Wanted You to Know: Daughters Share Letters from the Heart".

Lisa has entered a world that few have been brave enough to explore, the inner workings of the mother-daughter relationship. The full gamete of emotions is captured in this truly realistic and genuine book, offering glimpses into real mother-daughter relationships from women around the world. Her contributors have provided an opportunity for others to heal through their letters of forgiveness and thanks.

Lisa moves beyond her own pain through sharing the story of her relationship with her mother at a time most crucial in their journey together. Her contributors share a very personal letter written to their mothers with the audience and the result is a book that will make you laugh and cry.

This is a must read for women of all ages! Don't stop there, have your fathers, brothers and sons read it to gain some understanding of the bond that is shared between mother and daughter.

Thank you again Lisa!

I see a lilac, smell chocolate-chip cookies baking, hear a certain tone in my sister's voice, and I miss my mother. Emotions flood back. Things we shared that I ache to share again. But there are new feelings as well. Things I never told her. Feelings we never shared. How I wish I could tell her. Tell her the new grandbaby is on the way. Tell her the other children are fine. Tell her that I have lived longer, seen more of life, and I understand more. I have changed. She might have as well.

I am not alone. Lisa R. Delman has tapped into the deep need of many women to share deep feelings with their mothers, or to enunciate them, even knowing that the mothers are not there to read the words. When Delman's own mother lay near death, she realized the depth of her feelings. Fortunately, her mother recovered. Delman wrote a series of letters telling her mother all she had learned...

"By writing to my mother instead of about her, I was able to see reflections of myself and become accountable for my part of our relationship. As I embraced her challenges and triumphs in a compassionate way, I was graciously able to accept my own humanity."

Taking her new knowledge, Delman set up an Internet letter-writing contest encouraging other women to write letters to their mothers. She received more that a thousand entries. from all over the world. Many of the letters appear in this book. Letters that concern not only grief and disappointment, but also courage, gratitude and love. Some are written and have been shared with the writers' mothers. Others, such as mine, were delivered only through the heart.

This is a good book to browse. The variety of letters--in each section, prefaced by Delman's commentary--will evoke familiar feelings and help each reader to enunciate her own. The book closes with "Ten Ways to Open Your Heart to Your Mother," a useful guide which Delman says will lead you to the right place. "The rest will follow."

To learn more about Delman's work and her on-going letter writing contests, visit her website.

by Patricia Nordyke Pando
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

This is a must read for every family. This book has all the emotions,drama, and humor necessary for a fantastic read and will make everyone appreciate and think about their own family. Thanks for the inspiration.

Lisa Delman has captured the essence of the various relationships between Mothers and daughters. A great read and a very important book to come out at a time when we need to bridge our differences between us and our parents. Very moving letters. I hope Lisa plans on releasing more letters from the heart in the near future.